Naruto: I Don't Believe In It
by Coconuttii
Summary: Everyone is celebrating that western holiday... what is it? Valentine's...? Konoha's copy-ninja, Hatake Kakashi, doesn't believe in it. But what happens when others do...? M/M Slash.


"Say 'hi' to Kurenai-sensei for me, Asuma-sensei~!" A dainty blonde chirped playfully from behind a flower shop counter. Asuma's face burned scarlet, hot as a flare, the big fella's throat going dry and cracking with the heat and unease.

'How did she KNOW?' Women… they never let on to much… he rubbed the back of his bull-neck, raising the roses in his grasp in farewell, only to be accidentally pushed by yet more Konoha citizens as they raided his student's family store. Such was the time. So many hopefuls pushing through to find some gift that aptly described their love in rich yet delicate beauty, wishing to set their lovers ablaze, nurturing their passions and desires into needs. The tanned jounin squeezed through, raising his nose above the many that were beneath his height, smiling blissfully as he thought of his own lover. She was perfect, he was happy. She liked roses… he knew he'd be lucky tonight. As sure as the spider wove her web, as surely as the seabird was made to cast its shadow upon water. He was in there.

So in a gratifying daze was he that the wind-wielder barely noticed his two outlandish comrades atop a rise of Konoha flats, overlooking his reverie, as he put a lumbering skip to his step. All his thoughts were on his girl. Of Yuuhi Kurenai.

A deep, baritone chuckle burst from the clay and wooden apartment block, as Konoha's blue beast struggled to control his happy-go-lucky nature, "Gahaha! Would ya look at that? Asuma-kun's all loved up…" he raised a hand to shield his eyes from the early morning rays, only to view messenger birds flying smoothly on the wind, with no great cause or urgency, their messages sent through love in place of war, and the many anxious leaf-villagers making their busy way to check-in, to play, to nowhere.  
It was a lover's holiday that they celebrated… a western tradition.

Some didn't go for or believe in it. People who chose porn over courtship. People that hung around like scarecrows when the Hokage had given them free-time.

One such man sneezed softly, the noise muffled by an azure mask.

"Bless you!" Gai offered absently, as he grinned over the many ninja he knew, most below his rank, making their way to the Yamanaka family shop, choosing at ruthless random who he would prey on next.

"_Mm_," Kakashi raised an eyebrow, almost in an effort to stretch out his lazy, half-lidded eye, as he regarded Nara Shikaku making his brow-beaten way to one of his closest friend's businesses. He had been wondering if he should call out to the other scarred man, to tease him and his 'leash', but resigned against it. Amidst that dogged face, and those hard, long-suffering eyes, was a sense of divine reverie. The sort you get when you thought about something good… the feeling of a hard kunoichi's hand yielding against yours, how good it felt to have a body beside you, to feel that heat when you woke up each day. Hatake understood that sensation… only, not with everyone he'd slept with.

Commitment wasn't something he was overly interested in. He enjoyed reading about it in his many Icha Icha instalments, liked to believe it was possible, just like he wanted to believe that everything was right with the world… A great thought, but not a practical one. Not for a guy like him. Not the token kind that a woman would preach of, holding her swelling belly and leaning against her lover's shoulder.

Not that he'd never thought about it… he just never thought of it long.

Commitment was an iron band, shackles around your neck, but more than that… it was a constant, niggling fear that one day somebody could take it all away, leave blood up your walls, on your floor, in your bed.

Spilt blood of loved ones left long, copper stains that could never be cleaned; a stench that never rose away or died. He glanced over at his self-proclaimed rival, watching the ninja's friendly smile as he pointed at passersby and laughed hugely at their expense, his broad shoulders quaking, but somehow always steady. Gai was one of the few people he could look at, or get close to, without that thrill of ice coursing from the base of his spine and up. He didn't need to worry. He wouldn't be taken out or ignored. Gai would always be there. Whether he was wanted or not.

Kakashi's lone eye melted into rare warmth. And beneath that promise, Gai-kun was good at a lot of things… Kakashi could count on him. A strong, able guy who hung on his every word, the way his students once did, way back when they were… well… 'cute' and 'impressionable'. Now they were out of his reach, above, below, aside, like leaves in the wind. The copy-ninja blinked, memories playing behind his eyes like a crude pictograph, in all colours. He let his lids fall, and the flood became a dam.

He flipped a page of Icha Icha.

Gai had so many… _unique_ habits, that it was easy to see nothing else. Kakashi had unique habits, too. They were unique, weird, closeted, but understood one another all the same amidst that oddity.

And also…

The hot-blooded ninja was sensitive, he looked good when he wanted more than a challenge; when his dark hair was back, his nipples taut and rigid, his mighty chest rising and falling as his deep voice soared to boyish whines under countless copy-ninja ministrations. Yeah… though he could be a kid at times, Gai had a lot to give… he always had. Kakashi had always been good at taking.

Now the hot-blooded man was looking at him, and Hatake blinked once, drawing a blank. They shared a stare for a time, before Kakashi piped up, "Mm? …Did you say something?"

Gai had to turn away to control the metaphorical waves that threatened to drown him, but he nevertheless regained his composure moments later, as he turned back, powerful arms folded over his chest, "Hey, Kakashi, what do you think'a this holiday, anyways?"

"Anou? Uh…" the copy-ninja looked down to the Yamanaka's flower shop, with its bustle and throng of frantic lovers looking for that special something that would drive their partners wild, and didn't bat an eyelid, "I can't say I know much about it, Gai-kun. It's a western holiday. I guess … I don't really go for it," a sudden, terrible fear soon began to take root in his abdomen, and sent a passing glance to his comrade, his co-captain, his rival—

His** lover**.

"No?" The raven-haired ninja shot a serious glare over at his eternal rival, "Is THAT what you believe, rival?" the glare narrowed and sharpened like a knife, "Flowers can really put a girl in the mood for fun, ya know… to know that you're always thinking about 'em…!"

"Anou…" That root grew like a healthy weed, turning his insides. In all honesty, he'd forgotten about the holiday and… that he'd been going steady with Gai-kun for a few months now… it was early days…

As they glared at each other, one pair of dark eyes more purposeful than the other, Kakashi couldn't help but think… maybe he'd brushed their many years fighting and screwing together, off and on, for some unconditional marriage that he didn't need to nurture… Forgotten that behind that manful nature and hot-blood, Gai was sensitive.

More sensitive than many Kunoichi he knew.

Icha Icha's story was in suspended animation, characters bound in each other's arms like sleazy Greek sculptures, as Kakashi's thumb bit down on it's very centre-crease. He'd never been good with these things…

"Haha, yeah… that's exactly what I believe!" Gai bellowed, slamming a mighty hand across the copy-ninja's back, making his eyes bulge and his heart thump like a drum under his ribs, "To go out and spend all your money on flowers and sweets; supposed ta prove your love. Pretty shallow, right?"

"That's what it is at the end of the day, Gai-kun~" Kakashi replied cheerfully, dousing that troublesome weed in poison as he leaned back against a wall, back into his erotica. That was dangerous… almost as dangerous as being trapped in an enemy ninja's genjutsu, or coming within millimetres of taking 1,000 Years of Pain right up the—

… When Gai got upset; when he got angry or frustrated… that was real danger. The copy-ninja felt a sweat under his mask, but took idle pleasure in his rival's happy face. Anou… A false alarm. _Thank goodness_.

Smiling at his partner and then into nothing, Gai chuckled, "Heh, poor Asuma-kun…" he clenched a fist, and slammed it against his chest, "A man shows how he feels by DOING! Ya work HARD to show your love! Ya just can't prove that by spending money. It's_ impossible_!" he closed his eyes, nodding and pouting to himself, "Yeah, yeah, in fact… it's STUPID. Only an **idiot** would try and show his feelings through his wallet, right, Kakashi?"

The copy ninja murmured unintelligible affirmatives through his mask as his lone eye swept across Jiraiya's best seller for the third time that month, growing so used to his self-proclaimed rival's spiels that he was secure in the believe that said spiel would not end for a fair while. He arched his broad shoulders against the wooden barricade, feeling the muscles in his neck relax and tighten.

"Which is why—" Kakashi looked up, feeling the other man's eyes on him, "I got something a little less flashy—" Gai slammed a fist into his open palm, and raised a thumbs up and a wink at his beloved comrade, before turning and opening up his backpack. Kakashi's lone eye widened slightly.

"Here!" Bells, streamers, and confetti would have made the scene, as Gai held out, triumphantly, a wooden box. A bento box. Despite his predicament, the silver-haired guy raised an eyebrow.

"I worked at it all night! Got your favourites, right here!" With great care, and frowning in concentration, Gai popped the lid and held it right under his rival's nose, "See?" The hot-blooded jounin beamed, and pointed out each compartment, excitedly illustrating exactly what was there, as though the other man had never encountered his much-loved dish before, "That's salt-broiled saury, that's soy and rice, that's grated radish, pickles aaand—" He leaned in, like a schoolboy sharing a wicked secret, "-And a shot'a sake for energy!"

He leaned back, placed his hands on jutting hips, and grinned happily, "Looks good, huh?" without waiting for a response, he went into intricate detail, raising a finger to his chin, "I put a lot of thought into it! I admit the first batch ruined quick, the second batch was pretty bad, I burned the third batch, but the forth batch—!" his eyes sparkled, and he raised a finger, which Kakashi now noticed was dappled with training bandages not unlike Rock Lee's, "the forth set me up to make the fifth perfect!" the tanned guy raised an arm, defining fine muscle beneath baggy jumpsuit as he kneaded the back of his neck, "Usually I make the more hearty stuff, ya know…" Kakashi knew. Gai ate anything whenever there was any going… and when he had to fend for it alone, his specialty was stews and curries (that he'd force down his students and comrades alike) that could be left at camp whilst he beat the living crap out of whatever target Hokage set, or sweated down to the bone through countless rules and exercises. But **this**…

This… his favourite. Even through his mask the aroma was amazing, the arrangement was top-notch. That required effort. Gai had tried hard…

The copy-ninja sweated, beads glimmering on pale skin. This was awkward… He glanced upwards, lazy eye not letting on to a thing. He blinked, and nodded. If anything, Konoha's copy-ninja had an exceptional poker-face. That same eye melted into the suggestion of a smile, "It looks good, Gai-kun~!"

It was amusing to watch, how that simple, rare praise got to the hot-blooded ninja. His dark eyes lit up, his smile slowly broadening, until he shook his head, dark hair flailing, and he slammed fists upon proud hips and smirked, "Yep! It'll taste incredible; too, you can count on it. Prepared by yours truly, full of love." He started, and soon looked down. He shifted a foot at the last word, smiling to himself as he scratched his cheek manfully. Hatake couldn't help but stir at that small show of timidity. Even though actions meant so much to Maito Gai, words never got easier to say. He was always honest.

"Alright! Let's see what ya got, Kakashi!"

Said ninja looked up, face as white as chalk under his mask, "Mm?"

"I can tell ya now that your stakes aren't high on his one, rival…" Gai murmured mischievously, strong arms folding over his chest as he leaned forward, "whatever you've got can't beat pure-blooded effort. I got this one in the bag!"

So, he was making a challenge out of their relationship, huh…? _Yare, yare…_

Scratching at his collar, the silver-haired man began, in his usual slothful drawl, "Anou… Gai-kun, about this…"

Gai looked up, smiling, his big heart already full of sincere affection and unalloyed confidence in his lover. Kakashi always had an answer for everything, always had a counter, and always had a trump card. The hot-blooded man had never once doubted his copy-ninja rival, and now, this challenge, was no different that fisticuffs or 100-metre dashes. This time, love was their battlefield. He fought to win.

To prove how precious a person that lazy, incredible guy was, and had always been, to him.

"Tuh-tuh-tuh!" Hatake blinked at the finger wagged in his face, "Kakashi… it doesn't matter who made the better gift; it only matters that we thought about each other," the other man chirped, kneading his powerful hands in one another as he sat on the apartment balcony, kicking his feet. Kakashi's heart both froze and melted at once, seeing that tender, faraway look on the guy's face, "Just don't keep me waiting, or I'll get pissed off!" he laughed, swinging back on the balcony, his perfect body hidden by layers of baggy green cloth.

Kakashi raked a hand through his barbed hair, and heaved a sigh, 'Damn…' he made a half-hearted show of searching his pockets, smiling all the way, blunt fingers touching the wooden heads of slender summons strolls, cloth-wrapped poison needles, a glass cube of ink. Nothing.

He dug into his pants, making a fist to grasp at anything ; he allowed a calm glance at his comrade, who raised a thick eyebrow at him, completely oblivious of the truth of the situation, but sensing it from Kakashi's bad karma, "Oi, oi, Kakashi… what's the matter?"

The voice was enough to stir him to action, and with a vain hope, he unearthed a box from his pocket. A small, rectangular box. Shinobi rations. Something rattled inside.

Before he could say anything more, Gai hand leapt down from his perch, and snatched up the box from the copy-ninja jounin's hand. He looked at his rival once, eyebrow raised, only to pop the container lid, to view the small, grey pill within. He was silent.

"Anou… Gai…" Kakashi began, but the hot-blooded man simply raised the box, lifting it to his nose, and sniffed at it. A ninja's sense of smell was key, the Hatake and Inuzuka clan specialised in it more profoundly, but many ninja developed their own well enough. The curious look on Gai's face soon melted to a hot glare, and he gazed at his comrade, glowering like wild fire, before he turned away.

'Kuso…' Kakashi ran a hand through his hair once again; he'd never been good with dealing with this sort of thing…

"Kakashi… you… you—!" the Blue Beast sputtered, fists clenched so tightly that knuckles were white as bone, and his shoulders quaked with the effort to calm himself down. Kakashi debated on making a wise exit, so that he could read another few hours without his right eye swelling to a purple-tinged close. A cold sweat took his forehead, but he remained still, where he was, face a picture of languid serenity. You had to go out with dignity, after all…

In the next moment, he was slammed against the wooden wall, right in the centre, the view of the Blue Beast's frustration hampered by the other walls which closed them in. Thoughtful.

But soon the back of his head was gripped, and he was forced forward, with his cotton-covered lips meeting Gai's, as the other shinobi devoured his mouth passionately. It was a strange punishment, but Hatake was man enough to go with it, enjoying the odd sensation of their tongues meeting through thin cloth. Gloved hands gripped trim, manly hips and cupped perky ass-cheeks, as Gai brutally nuzzled and ground against him.

It was over as swiftly as it began, however, and Gai slammed his rival against the wall like an unwanted doll, only to lean forward and rest their foreheads together, "You incredible guy… I thought I had ya figured out, thought I'd worked hard enough to beat you right now, but, you've always got something up your sleeve, don't you?" He leaned back, and looked at the soldier pill in his hand, rolling it around with his finger, as Kakashi drew a complete and utter blank, "I remember it! That mission, few weeks back… you didn't eat it, even when you'd not had a pop for a whole day. The scent of the town, of the Sairai clan – I thought you were savin' it 'til later, but you were… _you were_…!" his dark eyes welled up again, and he rubbed an arm across them, looking back at the copy-ninja, still twinkling, "You were proving it, right then, how much you think of us! Fighting hunger during a mission no less! Just for this day! Damn it! To think I only started workin' on my gift this week…!"

In truth, the last Hatake could barely recall where the pill had come from. Back then, he'd caught somebody in a bad position, seen a little too much of something that should have been kept under wraps, and couldn't even face a soldier pill without the hazard of retching up all his innards. He must have just forgotten about it… even washed it along with his clothes. He was surprised it had remained intact. But... its box was waterproof after all. A tiny thread of shame crept into him, but he remained silent, seeing how it would all play out.

Gai rounded on the silver-haired man once again, inwardly taking in the shinobi's form as he moved back towards him, a hand slinking into the elastic lip of Kakashi's pants, into the hoary forest of silver pubes, and then further. Kakashi arched his shoulders, head shooting forward and against Gai's, nuzzling manfully, "No one is fitter to be my eternal rival…" the fingers hooked, stroking and gently raking at Hatake's balls, rolling them around in a hard palm, feeling that caged meat twitch and stiffen, "You're the best there is… I really lucked out!" He kissed the other man's visible eye, as it rolled back into Kakashi's head, a deep, ardent groan issuing from beneath his (by now) damp mask. Gai was really good at this…

The genius jounin sought to move himself, his own nimble fingers journeying out, before the hot-blooded guy clasped one in his left, staring at him in hot-blooded fortitude, "You took me off-guard, rival, but I'm not gonna lose to ya THAT easy! Tonight, forest of death, after sunset. I'm gonna make it up to you… so, you better prepare yourself!" he whispered softly, or as softly as his baritone voice would allow, lips nipping at his rival's ear like a playful pup before he moved away, fingers departing with him, and Kakashi mourned his loss. He narrowed his eye. Gai-kun could really tease when he wanted to… yare, yare… maybe it was a penalty for lying? His eye smiled in his brief anxiety, before he glanced down at his tented pants, a tiny, dark patch just about showing through where he was beading, and he stuffed his own hand down to nurse it.

"Until then!" He looked up to see the hot-blooded man raise a thumbs-up, just in time to lean over the abandoned apartment balcony, to his squad, a trio of his precious students, looking up at him in expectation, "Ah ha! You guys are early! I couldn't be more proud!"

"Sensei... after you picked on me so much about it, I had no choice!" a bonbon-haired youth pouted, folding arms under her buxom breasts, "You promised to target-train with me today…"

Lee grinned up at his idol, completely unaware of what had gone on as he waited, "Roger! Raring to go, Gai-sensei!"

Neji nodded, silver eyes glaring in vague suspicion, sensing something, someone other than the jounin captain up there…

"That's what I like to hear!" Gai boomed from the block of flats, loud enough for the dead to hear, as he mounted the balcony railings, giving a last glance back to his lover, "See ya then, hm?"

And then he was away.

As the last of the Hatake's worked at his cock, imagining his gloved, battle-hardened hands were Gai's body, his mouth, his sculpted abs, eagerly awaiting whatever 'game' the hot-blooded ninja had in store for him, he wondered vaguely about the importance of telling the truth…

In this case…

It was only right that…

A little white lie with good intentions was best kept secret…_ne?_

He smiled to himself, cupping a hand to the slit of his wood as the first shot of spunk glazed it.


End file.
